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Hollywood Heathers

Hollywood Heathers
"where no celeb is safe"
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[December 20, 2006 @ 9:57pm]


I do not like Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, she was funny for a few years on Friends, but like the rest of the show, that Rachel schtick got real old after four seasons. I have this litmus test I do on women of whom I am suspicious might be high maintenance or a pain in the ass. I ask if they are a Jennifer Aniston fan. If they say yes, then I assume that they are as insecure, neurotic, self-pitying, and self-obsessed as she is. Ergo, I know to avoid such women like the plague. Also, it gives me and my cool snarky friends new targets at which to aim our barbs. Is that fair? No. Is it foolproof? No. Do I care? Not really.

The reason I do not like Jennifer Aniston is because all she has is her pain. Oh, wait, she also has her hair and her latest form of exercise. Pain, hair, and exercise. What a combination.

Apparently she is chafing at all the PR that Brad and Angelina have been getting recently, so she's on the cover of US this week with - you guessed it - her pain, her hair, and her yoga.

Here's an idea, Jen...get over it already. Do something that doesn't involve the way your body looks or that isn't in pursuit of being a movie star (which ain't never going to happen, btw). Find a charity, adopt a child, get involved in a worthy social issue, take up a cause, any cause, besides yourself
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I'm bringing krazy back [November 07, 2006 @ 3:51pm]

It's been a while since I've made a Big Alice post. Things have been rather quiet since they went to their own SUPER SEKRIT club and left MB to the "haters". Thankfully, I heard their was some fun going on at X17. I almost never visit that site and I NEVER read the comments, but I'm going to now! Who knew how much hilarity could be found there? Somebody (not Krazy Karen) is posting as Movie Sleuth on X17. Krazy Karen is stomping her feet, insisting that she never said any of this, and (allegedly) threatening to sue. I'm posting it all for the amusement of the group and for safe keeping!


Movie Sleuth:
Katie looks beautiful. She is the epitome of understated elegance. The same true of classic beauties like Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn in their day.

The REAL Krazy Karen comparing KAK to the stunning Audrey Hepburn & Grace Kelly:

"Understated elegance. The same was true of classic beauties like Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn in their day." 03/05/06


Movie Sleuth:
As I said earlier, Katie has that understated elegance like Audrey Hepburn. I would love to lick her little kitty until she cries out in ecstasy. I know she thinks she likes men, but once she's with me, she'd never give men another thought. Tom doesn't take care of her needs anyway. I've been in the business for years and it's a well known fact that Tom is a gay man.

ROTFL!!! And also? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.


Movie Sleuth:
Your a girl!?!?!?!?!?



Unfortunately, this particular "Movie Sleuth" is a ruse -- an attempt by some rather sick individuals to publicly embarass someone they have not been able to get to back down in other forums. It's stupid, childish nonsense. Please ignore it.

First of all, I fnd it SOOO amusing that she thinks people on the internet KNOW her. Sorry, KK, you haven't made as much of a splash online as you have in Hollywood. Not to mention that I don't know how you can embarass somebody with their own words (but then again, I'm not KK). And funny, I believe she has backed down.

"If more TK fans aren't here offering their 'suggestions', perhaps it's because they've sensed how useless it has become. Even on a 'fan site'.




Movie Sleuth:
Have you noticed how cable stations are playing Katie's old movies more than ever now? THE ICE STORM, DISTURBING BEHAVIOR and TEACHING MRS. TINGLE have been rotated a lot, along with more recent releases, FIRST DAUGHTER and BATMAN BEGINS. They were part of packages before and were rarely seen, now they're being aired regularly.

That tells me someone in scheduling thinks people are interested. After all, Tom was Katie's emergence on the world stage and many people knew nothing about her or her work. Now that she is an internationally known figure who's been a constant feature in the press for the past year, producers are already sending scripts in. She will have her choice of roles on the next one. She has many supporters and fans in this town...people who still believe that breakthrough moment is coming.

^^ FTW!!! The first paragraph (and a couple sentences from the second paragraph) is taken WORD FOR WORD from a post Krazy Karen made on 06/17/06. The rest of the second paragraph is taken WORD FOR WORD from a post Krazy Karen made on 05/01/06.


Movie Sleuth:
Tom wants her to be successful.Tom seems to have an interest in making the world see what a wonderful actress she is. I think he'll be encouraging her to tackle the acting challenges not hindering her from taking them. I get the sense this time that Tom has a vested interested in having Hollywood accept Katie as a multi-faceted A-list actress in her own right. He may actually be the one who has the greater ambitions for her.

The bolded part is taken WORD FOR WORD from posts that Krazy Karen made on 06/13/05 and 07/03/05.


Movie Sleuth:
You all need to remember, I have tremendous experience in the industry and I, personally know what Tom thinks because I can hear his thoughts. That's why I speak with such authority. I know the history of Tom's thoughts. When you reach OT VII, as Tom and I have, we can communicate using only our minds.



Funny, LC. Or should I say LittleMissPTS? Or is it Suppressive & Proud now? Having trouble with our ID's are we? Let's not be childish.

LMAOOOOO!!! Says the person who really has no right to try and call someone out on multiple id's.



Movie Sleuth:
Katie looks beautiful. When she was in Paris, she certainly got a lot of fashion raves for that pantsuit she wore. She is th epitome of high fashion, unlike Nicole Kidman.

I have to be honest and say that I've always found Nicole strangely off-putting, especially at her most glamorous. Katie has the smile, add that to a variety of elegant and casual fashion, and designers find a winning combination. That's why Blackwell put her on his Best Dressed list a few years ago. IMHO

The second sentence is a DIRECT QUOTE from Krazy Karen's 10/23/06 post. She talks about the BFF who included her on Blackwell's Best Dressed list in the same post. The rest doesn't seem to be a direct quote, but a couple of examples of KK raving about KAK's fashion sense and designers falling all over her can be found here and here.



LOOOL! That's pretty accuracte.


Nicole Kidman is off-putting, a regular ice queen. Most in Hollywood find Katie to be much friendlier and more accessible. Everyone is rooting for her to be a huge success, something that is rare in this town. It's not a question of if she'll be a huge star, it's a matter of when.

Oooooh, LABioBabe has come out to play!!! I miss her pm's. *sniff*


Movie Sleuth:
I find it sad how angry most of you are. Katie is an incredible human being and actress and Tom is a credit to his industry and the human race.

All of this is Thanks to Scientology. You could all be rescued by the tech and stop being the pathetic, angry suppressives you all are.

I don't believe this is a direct KK quote, but it does remind me of her comments about what a hero CTC was because he rescued people from "fire and water". Gah.


MovieSleuth's nemesis:
MovieSleuth!! Good old Krazy Karen from Media Blvd and now TomandKatieOnline.com.

This freak writes porn about Katie Holmes at TWoP under the name of MalibuSwede. She's a 50 year old, deluded nutcase with an unhealthy sexual attachment to Katie who freaks out whenever someone tells the truth about these two publicity whore wack jobs. She can't handle the idea that Katie is nothing more than a contract beard. She's sadly pathetic and hilariously funny at the same time.

Awwwww, KK has a fan!


MovieSleuth's nemesis:
Ohhhhh.....Movie Sleuth is threatening to "sue" those of us who insult her over at the Tomandkatieonline.com forum. I'm scared to death. LMAO!! On what grounds? The "Mommy they're picking on me for being a deluded asshole!!" law? ROTF!!

She also claims she isn't making these posts. Sure Karen, we believe you. Freak. Apparently, she has a copywrite on the name MovieSleuth too. Oh wait....that's impossible. What a lunatic.

This is FUN!!

ROTFL!!! WHAT DOES SHE THINK SHE'S GOING TO SUE PEOPLE FOR????!!!! Taking her posts and re-posting them somewhere else under her own name??? OMG, SHE'S SUCH A FUCKING LUNATIC!


my chance to be lame again.
i am HINATHA. noone talks shit about my nicole, capiche!!!!

i am very stupid and have no brain.that is why i hang around the internets all day and night and jump on every chance to talk trash about katie holmes.

i am very fat and stupid.
i also am moraly above everyone else.
being filthy rich is wrong. i would spend allmy money on the poor...that is right.
i would feel bad going shopping all the time.

just like my very good german saxon friend JULE. who just got promoted to mod.
at my fav. messageboard. she also killed it right then.

i am also the best mother ever. cause i would never, ever leave my child.

i am soooo great.
please kick me.

Hee! I'd say this is actually sunchick (those are her typical insults), but I don't think she's intelligent enough to post something that intentionally funny. "i am very fat and stupid." and "i am soooo great / please kick me." crack me up. They should be my new siggy.


OK. Everyone from Free Katie raise your hands. That's fine. We know you're here, always did. Now stop these childish games and have the courage to write posts under your own names. You've trashed mine enough.

Trashed your name WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING WORDS. How is that even possible? Wow. She loves playing the victim.

And come on, LABioBabe, do you really think you have a leg to stand on when challenging someone to have the courage to post under their own name? I didn't think so.

You're a hypocrite and a liar not a martyr. Sry2say.
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Snufalupagus or Suri? [October 24, 2006 @ 11:37pm]


Well, we here at Hollywood Heathers have been terribly remiss in making Big Alice posts recently. Hey, you know, life gets busy. But fear not, we will never let Big Alice slip our notice for long. Especially when she posts little gems like this:

Obviously, we will have to disagree on how much time Suri is really away from her mother. The last time I checked, the paps weren't timing their appearances or flight times and no one knows exactly when KH got back in L.A.--or indeed when she met up with Suri. It's all supposition.

Why is it not possible that Suri is not only outside a lot at home but on visits to friends or hikes in the Santa Monica mountains (which TC's family has always been known to do)? The paps don't follow them everywhere--half the time they don't even know where KH or TC are until they arrive and have been there for some time.

So, apparently little Suri is Snufalupagus, Big Alice is Big Bird (because how else would she know that Suri is out in public a lot when there has been no proof otherwise?), and the paps are the rest of the Sesame Street residents.

Critical Thinking Skills
Big Alice
Delusion-Free Thinking

Which one of these things is not like the other?

Where's Nell Carter When You Need Her? [October 15, 2006 @ 10:31am]

To say, "gimme a break," that is. In his neverending quest for press, ManBoobs (that's the National Enquirer's new name for him) is selling yet another version of his story to the press. I fully believe that all of the seemingly inconsistent TomKat stories - They're Splitting Up!, Katie's Parents Have Accepted Tom!, Katie's Parents Put Their Foot Down! - are nothing but The Batshit Crazy Tom Cruise's attempts to stay relevant in the press because there is no play left in his "romance" with KAK.

Poor little ManBoobs. No movies to make, no ET on-the-set visits, everyone now knows what the baby looks like, no one gives a shit any more about his amazing romance. The only thing the guy's got going for him is the will they/won't they speculation of a TomKat marriage. Too bad (for him) that he doesn't realize that the longer he waits, trying to draw out the suspense, the weirder he looks.

Watch out, Tommy Boy. Karma is coming at you fast and hard, and it is taking a nice chunk out of that womanly ass you have. Then it's going to go to work on your childbearing hips and your manboobs.

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Refreshing Honesty [October 11, 2006 @ 7:34pm]


There seems to be a lot of hate out there (at least on the internet) for Kiki Dunst, but I don't really get it. I don't know why people waste their energy on disliking her when there are a lot worse worthless celebrities like Paris Hilton, Sienna Miller, and Katie Holmes out there.

Besides, I kind of have a soft spot for her due to the fact that she is a less pretty version of my younger cousin, that I love Dick (double entendre most definitely on purpose), and that she was excellent in The Virgin Suicides. So when she goes and says something like this about another actor, I have to laud her for her honesty.

KIRSTEN DUNST insists the thought of kissing KEVIN SPACEY put her off a part in Oscar winning movie AMERICAN BEAUTY. The actress was originally tipped to play Spacey's teenage lust interest in the 1999 film, a role later taken by MENA SUVARI, but was repulsed at the thought of smooching an older man. She explains, "I was only 15 then and I didn't want to kiss Kevin Spacey or be seen lying naked in those rose petals.

That is frickin' awesome! In a business where everyone trips over themselves to lie about their real feelings toward other actors, Kirsten manages to be honest and state the obvious. After all, who would WANT to star opposite and kiss Kevin Spacey?

Wait a minute, Tom Cruise starred opposite Kevin Spacey in the third Austin Powers movie...

Douchebaggery 101 [October 10, 2006 @ 5:33pm]


Just when you thought that Donald Trump had set the lowest possible point of douchebaggery on the bell curve, he goes and shoots his mouth off on Larry King Live about Angelina Jolie.

KING: OK, back to some thing current. You recently applauded Brad Pitt's stance on not marrying Angelina Jolie. I believe you said that you consider everyone -- when he said everyone should be married but don't bug him, why?

TRUMP: Well, look, number one, I know her father. Her father is a nice guy. I think she treats him like a dog but maybe they have some kind of a thing.

KING: Yes, why, he's a good guy?

TRUMP: I mean this poor sap he comes along and he practically begs her, "I want to see my grandson. I want to see this." I mean if I were with him, I'd say "Forget it. It's over."

KING: He's also a great actor, Jon Voight.

TRUMP: I think he's a great actor and she just treats him terribly. She's been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby, OK, with the other side. And, I just don't even find her attractive. That has nothing to do with why I said it though.

He made that statement, right, and he made it like he's doing this wonderful thing for humanity. I think he probably made it just because he doesn't want to get married, which is, you know, not so bad.

KING: You've been quoted...

TRUMP: But I'm not a fan of hers as you probably noticed.

Now I don't think that Angelina Jolie is perfect, but I do admire her moxie and her make-no-excuses lifestyle. She lives her life on her terms, and you can fuck off if you find it weird or do not approve of it. As far as I'm concerned, Hollywood could use a lot more celebrites like her instead of brainless ciphers who sell their bodies and souls to crazy, $100,000-limit-credit-card-waving dwarves in exchange for shots at the A-List. In other words, Angelina Jolie gets it done instead of allowing others to do it for her.

I digress. So, I'm not even going to go into the Donald Trump aspect of this exchange. He's nothing but a pathetic, desperate famewhore who is looking to get some PR. Instead, I much prefer to discuss "nice guy" Jon Voight. Let's take a little look at some of the things that Mr. Nice Guy has done...

- cheated on his wife and abandoned her and their children when they were very young

- only tried to have a better relationship with his daughter after she became more famous than him

- made slurs against her mental state on an entertainment show when she was in the process of adopting a child

- only claimed her biological child as his grandchild while overlooking her two adopted children, as well as expressed a desire to spend time with only the biological grandchild

- couldn't even remember the name of one of her children

- used his daughter's fame to get on entertainment shows because otherwise no one gives a fuck about his has-been, wrinkled old ass.

Yep, I'd say Jon Voight utterly qualifies as a "nice guy". Of course, if by "nice guy" you mean Tom Cruise, Jame Gumb, Bill Romanowski, and Caligula.
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Attaque des Femmes de Zombi [October 07, 2006 @ 3:58pm]

Translation: Attack of the Zombie Women!

Yes, it's true, Kool-Aid Katie truly is her own woman, going so far as to leave Captain Crazy back at Casa Clam and go meet her BFF Posh Spice in Paris for Fashion Week. Or at least that's what they'd like you to think. It was, as is everything they do, transparent as glass, and done to make us *believe* KAK actually has a life other than following the Commander around to every sporting event in the western world. Naturally, she went sans Suri (which is why the child's new name is now, for our purposes, changed to Sans-Suri)--because every "hands-on mother" with no outside help who cooks the meals and does the housework does things like this (glares at Vanity Fair "writer" Jane Sarkin for pimping this fairy-tale; btw, I hope you all wrote to the publication expressing just how ridiculous that article was; I know I did). Alas, all it did was give us more visual proof that the girl (not yet a woman) has no connection to her child and is in this relationship for the perks. So, without further ado:

She looks like a legless lesbian.

Drags Queens 'r Us

So, that's where my old prom dress went!

Oh, and Roger Friedman from Fox News is reporting that he's heard the wedding will be sometime in the first three weeks of November. I'd say the easiest way to figure it out is to get a hold of Isabella and Connor Cruise's football and soccer schedules; the week neither has a game will be the wedding (because Xenu forbid the famewhorin' twosome miss a photo op!). So help me, if it's November 11th, this Heather's birthday, someone is going down.
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Maybe People Isn't So Bad After All? [September 24, 2006 @ 1:02pm]


I have Jessica Simpson on a personal media blackout. I refuse to read about her in the three magazines I subscribe to, People, Vanity Fair, and EW (not that she manages to warrant a mention in the latter...you actually have to have a real career and/or actual talent to grace those pages), I never read the entries about her on ONTD, and I never browse her thread at any celebrity forum. She's simply too stupid, too desperate, too untalented, and too grasping for me to pay attention to. Give me Angelina Jolie or Keira Knightley any day of the week and twice on Sunday's over that nimrod.

So, a few Saturday's ago, I get that week's issue of People with the mentally damaged famewhore's "I'm In Love" story on the cover. Didn't read it because like I said, just don't care. Also, I must add as a sidenote that I am not really a fan of People anymore. In the last year and a half, they have more than proven to me that they are on publicity agents' payrolls with the bullshit spin they report as celebrity "news". I have been planning on letting my subscription lapse, writing a disdainful letter to them explaining why I find their periodical so lame, and have barely been able to work up the interest to read it anymore.

But just like Michael Corleone in the godawful third installment, just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in.

For those of you who don't waste $56 a year on a subscription, allow me to explain their letters-to-the-editor M.O. People always, ALWAYS, prints equally positive and negative letters about a cover subject two issues after it ran. Unless it's something or someone who is universally abhorred, they always balance the feedback. So imagine my surprise when this week's issues had five letters to the editor about JSimp and they were ALL negative! Not one single sympathetic sentiment to be found! Bravo, People, bravo!

Now I know that they did this merely to "get back" at Jessucka because she "used" them to get ink about her faux relationship with John Mayer, so it does have the stink of petty vengeance all over it, but still, it made my Saturday!
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And yet OJ's a free man... [September 17, 2006 @ 6:17pm]


Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their house christened by a drunk man with a very full bladder. Bodyguards alerted the police when they found the man urinating on the Cruise compound. He was immediately arrested for lewd conduct.

Well done, sir. Well done.

I'd roll my eyes, but I don't have the energy anymore [August 29, 2006 @ 5:06pm]

You know what I love? What I really, truly adore? Hypocrites who call other people out on being hypocrites. Like Big Alice...

for Katie to have to abandon everything she values, you'd have to know what she values! which you dont!

I think this is the problem: we go around talking chastising someone for pretending to know someone when we dont, then we turn around and do it ourselves. it's quite hypocritical, actually.

Katie values family. and friends.
she turned down an audition for her family and friends, I'm not surprised she turned down movie roles for the same thing.

LOL. Some people will just never get it.
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Schadenfreude 1, Tommy Boy 0 [August 22, 2006 @ 8:53pm]


Woo hoo! Things are looking up, folks! Sumner Redstone is now officially my hero.

For those who haven't seen the news...

Tom Cruise has just gotten the heave ho from Paramount Pictures.

Sumner Redstone, chief honcho at Viacom, the parent company of Paramount, has ended the 14-year relationship with Cruise's production company, Cruise/Wagner Productions. According to The Wall Street Journal, Redstone cited Cruise's controversial conduct and behavior over the last year as the reason for the split.
Redstone reportedly believed Cruise's antics -- including his now infamous appearances on "Oprah" and "Today" -- had a negative impact on the bottom line for "Mission Impossible III." Redstone said, "As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal." Redstone told The Wall Street Journal: "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Cruise/Wagner produced a string of hits for Paramount, including "Top Gun," "Mission Impossible" and "Days of Thunder."

Viacom Inc.'s Paramount Pictures unit is ending its 14-year relationship with Tom Cruise's film production company because of the actor's offscreen behavior, the company's chairman said in an interview with the Wall Street Journal.

Sumner Redstone, Viacom chairman, said the behavior of the star of the "Mission: Impossible" series and "Top Gun" was unacceptable to the company, according to the Wall Street Journal story e-mailed to reporters.

Cruise, one of Hollywood's biggest stars, has been known more recently for his antics on U.S. television talk shows, including jumping up and down on Oprah Winfrey's couch to declare his love for Katie Holmes and criticizing the use of antidepressant drugs.

"As much as we like him personally, we thought it was wrong to renew his deal," Redstone was quoted as saying in the Wall Street Journal. "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount."

Cruise's representatives and officials from Viacom and Paramount did not have any immediate comment on the report.

The absolute best part about this is that there is no room to spin this. It's not just bad for The Batshit Crazy Wee Maniac, it's the deathknell of his career. He ain't never coming back from this.

Exhibit A - Sumner Redstone, one the world's most important and most influential businessmen and the most important/influential man in American media made the statement himself. Not Brad Grey, not Paramount's PR department, not some underling. Nope, The Man himself did it, which only means that he wanted this release to be received with as high a profile as possible, for maximum effect.

Exhibit B - How many times have we heard that an actor and a director or an actor and a producer parted ways due to "creative differences" or because they were "moving in different directions"? Oh, far, far, far too many. It's like the "I was a worldclass athlete before a career-ending injury made me turn to acting" or the "we're only good friends, nothing more" Hollywood tried-and-true excuses. So did Mr. Redstone do that? Nope, he blamed Tommy Boy's personal behavior. In an industry that regularly tolerates and condones adultery, rampant drug use, blatant professional malfeasance, and pedophilia and all sorts of perversion, Wee Tommy got blasted for his proselytizing and irresponsible statements about psychiatry and psychology. Folks, cherish this moment, because it's as rare an occurrence as Haley's Comet.

Exhibit C - To quote one of the savviest people I know on the internet, "This sends a tremendous message to all the other studio's in town that MTP is a giant liability." No wonder CWP released a statement that they "decided to set up an independent operation financed by two top hedge funds." For any Big Alices reading, that means that the Tom Cruise stink is so strong that not only did Paramount dump his tiny ass to get as far from it as possible, but the other studios don't want any part of it, either. CWP saying that they're going the independent route is essentially the "You can't break up with ME! I'm breaking up with YOU FIRST" line. Yeah, we all believe that one (well, save for the Idiot 11, but they never count).

But you know what the most delicious irony in all of this is? Poor little Kool-Aid Katie just hitched her little red wagon to Tommy Boy's falling star. Despite the predictions and prognostications of the Biggest Alice, her career isn't going anywhere. Especially now since the gnome's career is totally in the dumper. She's already seen as a braindead freak, and now he has no influence left to help her.
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Jennifer Aniston is a Big, Fat PILL! [August 17, 2006 @ 7:05pm]

You know why I don't like Jennifer Aniston? It's because she is a humorless, bitch-faced dullard. The latest? She's whining to People that US Weekly got it wrong and she's not engaged:

"I'm not engaged and I don't have a ring and I haven't been proposed to," Aniston said in a telephone conversation she initiated to debunk the engagement rumors. "Normally we don't even acknowledge these things because they're endless, at this point. The thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My Aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they're getting angry.

Oh, no! Not Aunt Mary!

"My dad calls and he says, 'Honey, it's on the CNN crawl,' and I'm going, 'Wait a second!' When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, 'This is insane.' People are getting fed a lot of bull."

Please note--as US Weekly already has--that this is not the first time Jen and her hack, Steven Huvane, have denied (and denied and denied) a story, only to later have it turn out true. Hey, I'm not a hard-ass and blah blah blah private matters and all that, but ya know what? Don't say anything if you don't want to talk about it. When YOU initiate phone calls to People magazine (where, as a friend noted, "the truth goes to die"), YOU'RE the one who's obviously looking for the publicity--just the way YOU wanted it.

In conclusion, shut your pie-hole, Rachel!

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Well, this doesn't seem like a plant at all. Oh, wait... [August 14, 2006 @ 10:13am]


Tom and Katie Comfort Accident Victims

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes helped comfort a pair of shaken accident victims Saturday night, PEOPLE has learned.

A rep for the couple confirms that Cruise, 44, and Holmes, 27, were on their way home from the airport after a trip to Salt Lake City, Utah, for an exhibition soccer game (their friend David Beckham and his team, Real Madrid, beat Real Salt Lake 2-0), when they saw a couple on L.A.'s 101 Freeway who had apparently just been in a car accident.

The engaged pair and parents to 4-month-old daughter Suri checked to make sure the passengers, Jon Henningsen and his wife, were not seriously injured, then waited with them until the police and fire department arrived on the scene.



Would anyone like to buy a vowel? I thought Tommy had gotten the point that NOBODY'S BUYING IT years ago. He's even dumber than I thought. I bet Big Alice is absolutely pissing herself with glee.
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Yay? [August 10, 2006 @ 12:32pm]

X17online has a picture of Suri. Or, at the very least, something that resembles a baby.

Take that, you doubters!1!

That's fine and everything, yay Suri etc., but what I'm amused by is the figure lurking in the second window. Is that KAK? Perhaps the alleged meeting at CAA was to play the ghost haunting the apartment in a possible Three Men and a Baby remake?

How exciting would that be?! Shut up, I fucking love Three Men and a Baby.
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Big Alice Quote of the Day! [August 07, 2006 @ 7:59pm]

Oh, this one is a beauty.

Some great news ET tonight just mentioned. That tom is in the genius book of world records. As the most powerful actor in the world. That is amazing!!!


*dies laughing*

Me thinks that Tommy Boy will never be included in the genius book of anything. A more arrogant moron I have never laid eyes on, which sort of explains why the dumbest people on Earth call themselves his fans.

And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can CTC, KAK, and all of their minions learn. another. word. For fuck's sake! It's "amazing" how illiterate they all are.
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Once, Twice, Three Times a Baby [August 04, 2006 @ 9:07pm]

In what can only be called yet another publicity faux pas (sidenote: new reality show idea I'm copyrighting: Hackin' It, where wannabe publicists are given weekly challenges of how to untarnish Captain Famewhore and Princess Hot Mess' reputations), someone else came forward in this week’s “I Saw Suri Cruise!” derby. This time, rather than a Scientologist (Leah Remini), who yammered:

"She's a beaming baby," Remini tells PEOPLE in its new issue. "She looks like Tom and Katie. She's just beautiful."

As for Suri's folks, Cruise is "one of those doting dads," says Remini, who, like Cruise and Holmes, is a Scientologist.

"They're just great parents," Remini adds.

And not just a semi-Clam who happens to be a good friend of The Wee Maniac’s, Jada “she’s a man, baby” Pinkett-Smith, who proclaimed:

"She's one of the sweetest babies I've ever met in my life," Pinkett Smith says. "She's an absolute beauty and she's Daddy's little girl."

"She's beautiful and they're very happy and they need to be left alone.”

No, no, this time the source is much more believable. It’s Penelope “Will Beard for Cheap” Cruz, the midget’s ex-girlfriend, who, despite *being in Europe for the last 3 months* says she, too, has “met” Suri:

"I met Suri. She is really beautiful. She is really special," the 32-year-old actress told reporters Thursday at the London premiere of her new film, Volver. "One of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. And I am extremely happy for them. They are really happy and doing great. (Sidenote, Part Deux: Today, PC is suddenly doing an about face and saying she "doesn't want to talk about it" and claiming she didn't realize that her comments would be distributed to the masses. Understandable, sure. I mean, it's not like she made these statements in a press line, at a premiere, to a reporter holding a microphone in her face. Oh, wait...YES SHE DID!)

Huh. Well. Hmmm. Ya know, I’m not linguistics expert, but notice anything interesting about all three proclamations? They all say basically the same couple of things: Fringe is beautiful and the Dwarf and Kool-Aid are “great.” Oh, not to mention Jada and Pene note that they’ve “met” an infant. Was it a formal introduction? Did they shake hands? Why, if I didn’t know any better I’d say these were scripted responses. Funny that, eh?

Yeah, to blatantly steal from Dr. Seuss, “the three words that best describe this, are, and I quote:




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Well, This is Disappointing! [July 31, 2006 @ 6:03pm]

A normal mugshot. That's just not right! After the tirade, the slurs, the checking in to rehab, we get one-hair-out-of-place-or-it-could-be-a-head-shot? Pft!

I'm going to console myself by staring at Nick Nolte's for awhile. Now that man knew how to give good mug!
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Dina Lohan, Enabler Extraordinaire [July 30, 2006 @ 8:35am]

Lindsay's mommy responds to the big, bad, man being mean to her little girl. From Access Hollywood:

Lindsay Lohan's mother, Dina Lohan, spoke exclusively to Access Hollywood's Billy Bush about the harsh letter Lindsay received from a studio executive and comes to her defense.

The interview airs on Access Hollywood, Monday, July 31, 2006.

Earlier this week, Lindsay received a letter from the CEO of the production company on her current project, "Georgia Rule," scolding her for her "…irresponsible and unprofessional" actions. In response to the letter, Dina told Bush, "The wording was ridiculous." When asked if she thought the executive, James G. Robinson, was out of line and what brought on the unprecedented blast, Dina said, "I feel when you are 19 (years old) it is way out of line… Maybe he has personal issues with whomever and it came out with my child. I don't know him. I can't judge him. I don't think it was a smart thing to do to a young girl."

When asked if there was any truth to claims in the letter, Dina came to her daughter's defense saying, "Lindsay was in 105 (degree weather) saying, 'Mommy, I feel sick; like I am going to faint.' She took herself to the hospital. She has asthma and in extreme cold or heat you can't breathe."

Dina added, "…I'm a mother and will do what I need to do to protect my child…I don't feel it should be aired out and everyone should know. It's personal."

When asked about accusations in the letter that Lindsay's "…ongoing all night heavy partying" was responsible for her not showing up on set, Dina said, "Lindsay gets to work late, OK… She's a human being. There was one day when she was late and they worked the schedule around her. Garry (Marshall, the film's director), Jane (Fonda, her co-star), everybody loves her."

In regards to Lindsay's status, Dina told Access Hollywood, "As far as Lindsay's health is concerned, she's fine and she is back on set." Dina added to Bush, "She will win an Academy Award for this picture… Justice!"

Wow, well, where to start. Ok, how about with some math: Psst, Dina...Lindsay is 20. Remember all the birthday celebrations she had several weeks ago? Yeah, turns out that's what they were for. I know it's difficult to remember when she's out partying every night, but moms usually remember that sort of thing--that is, when they're not too busy out partying themselves.

Man, I don't want to feel sorry for Lindsay, but seeing the way her mother is in total denial that her little meal ticket--er, I mean girl, is fucking up her life? With guidance like that, I can at least see how it can happen.
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Can't we all just get along? [July 29, 2006 @ 10:44am]

There's nothing better than having a good chuckle on a rainy Saturday morning. This morning's chuckle came courtesy of, who else, Big Alice.

It all began yesterday when one of the "detractors" posted a question to Big Alice:

"MS, do you have something to back up that TomKat's arrival was planned by the WB for last?"

Big Alice responds:

"*****, my knowledge comes from experience working these things. KH didn't just decide to show up last; she was told to. That way, the stars of the film got their proper due before the TK frenzy began...which planners fully expected and some execs even hoped for. It's about throwing attention to the film, which TC did simply making making an appearance there. Sneaking into the theater wouldn't have sufficed."

Enter Detractor #2:

"Here we go again!!

MS, unless you work for WB or scheduled the arrivals yourself, you couldn't possibly KNOW that for a fact. Lets be fair. If something is an assumption or a belief it should be stated as such. Generally, the lead actor or actors are scheduled for arrival last. That would probably have been Christian Bale or maybe, out of respect for his long career, Michael Caine. Katie was a co-star with a limited role. She wouldn't have been scheduled last.


MS, Respectfully, we can ALL say we have "knowledge" based on "experience working these things". No offense, but that doesn't suffice. Throwing around your self proclaimed "insider" status doesn't cut it for me. I could do the same. If you worked in PR for one of the major studio's or agencies in an important position I think you'd state it and it would be verifiable.

I'm sorry if this comes across as a personal attack. It's not. Not at all. I'm doing it HERE because YOU constantly use that "insider" thing to backup your arguments. You do it all the time MS. If you're going to do that on a public forum, the other members have a right to question that "insider" knowledge and wonder where it comes from. Using the old "I know more than everyone else so listen to me" argument is a double edged sword. If you're going to use it, you're going to be called on it. You can't possibly just expect everyone to take you at face value. I wouldn't expect anyone to do that for me.

Again, My apologies if this is hurtful to you, but once and for all, I had to say what a few of us have been thinking. I'm just the one that happens to be ballsy enough to do it."

Followed by Detractor #1:

"MS, do you have experience working for a studio and planning these events? (I ask this seriously, because it seems you have done it all in Hollywood, given your experience and knowledge about all aspects of Hollywood life and workings)"

Big Alice (blatantly ignoring Detractor #2) says:

"I have experience from the celeb side. And, yes, I have been living and working in this Heinz 57 world for some time...hence the "experience and knowledge about all aspects of Hollywood life"."

Detractor #2, obviously wasting her time trying to have a big girl conversation:

"By your lack of response, I'm sure you're offended, but PLEASE don't be. You're very open about your knowledge and proud of what you do, obviously. It's only natural that your sources, status and information should be questioned. You can't end a discussion with "because I have experience" and not expect to be questioned. Again, if YOU use it, you must have expected that many of us wouldn't just take your status at face value."

Enter Detractor #3:

"MS I take it from your celeb answer, that you have/are working for someone famous? If that's the case I can't believe you approve of Tom's behaviour. If it happened to the person you are working for (OK big assumption I have no idea what you do, but whenever we have a 'Hollywood' debate, you seem to keep telling us you know more about it than everyone else on this forum) how would they react?"

Big Alice (again ignoring Detractor #2's completely reasonable questions and attempts at discussion):

"I do and it's fine by me. Part of the reason I argue so vehemently is because I understand the celeb side and I think it is vastly misunderstood. Actually, TC would defer to my employer!"

sunnyringo: *snort* About what? Being a recurring target of Matt & Trey's?

It was around this time that a particularly nasty and hilariously stupid Big Alice enters the picture to hurl insults, demand people provide "direct quotes" that they never claimed to have, and basically irritate everyone in the name of "having fun". One of his claims is that The Detractors will, "never substantiate their claim on a multitude of websites, they never do, they can't. THEY are the ones always making claims they can't prove," to which Detractor #4 posts:

"As far as "they'll never substantiate their claim, they never do, they can't", neither does *****, as far as I'm concerned, which some other people obviously agree with judging by the last few pages of posts. It goes both ways. At least she shows some dignity by not resorting to insulting people."

So what does Big Alice have to say for herself? Absolutely nothing of course! She ignores EVERYTHING that was posted and the questions asked of her and posts some drivel about not all fans accepting everything TK does as wonderful. Yawn. Enter Detractor #5 (responding to Big Alice's claim that her knowledge comes from working in Hollywood and that KAK was told to arrive last at the Batman Begins premiere):

"Okay no offense meant MS but this is where a lot of the problems on this thread come from. I dont think you especially are making it very clear that you are inferring something from your experience which is not fact im sorry but it just isnt. I have experience in the industry too and mine tells me that any studio would be pissed that their premiere was overshadowed by a tabloid headline especially of a movie that is trying to reestablish a franchise as something other than the fluff that had stalled the franchise previously. My experience tells me to keep my film as far away from the kind of tabloid fodder that is tomkat as possible so the concept that anyone would plan to have the premiere overshadowed that way is simply not logical IN MY EXPERIENCE. You dont work for Tom Cruise nor are you the be all and end all of information about the industry and sometimes you give the impression that everyone should defer to your opinion when really its just an opinion like anyone elses. And that stands for everyone not just you, its all just discussion."

Big Alice posts again (chastising someone for assuming! BWAH!), then several posts later decides that she should respond to Detractor #5 in a most arrogant fashion:

"I don't claim to be the be all, end all--but neither do I agree that my experiences are just "opinion"; I offer them as another way of looking at things for those who are interested. You know what would be nice? Not having to defend my Heinz 57 resume every time a new crop of posters comes on board...maybe even an occasional concession that I do know something of which I speak. If the variety and depth of my experience sounds suspicious to you, maybe it's because I've been around longer than I like to admit and never really focused on one area (somewhat of a career blunder, it turns out) because everything fascinated me."

sunnyringo: I would concede that you do know something, if just one single thing you've ever spouted off or predicted turned into fact. So far that has yet to happen, therefore I still find you to be a moron with an overblown sense of self-importance. Shadowkat you are not.

But the best part of all of this is that Big Alice, who claims to love discussion threads, who claims that she loves debates and arguing her points, is SOOO fed up with being asked to back up the bullshit that she spouts and not being worshipped, that she feels the need to publically announce that she's using her ignore button. No, seriously:

"First, let me say that the IGNORE button is a great and a wonderful thing; I highly recommend it. So for all those who wonder why I don't respond to certain posts, it's a choice I have made to preserve my sanity--and save us all another tiresome personal debate. I pick the discussions that are important to me and concede nothing!"

LMFAO!!! I say it's way too late to preserve her sanity, that shit waved bye bye to her years ago. And if she wants to put the detractors on "Ignore" then forget about sanity, she's going to completely lose her grip on the English language! None of the fans have a clue where the shift key is, that there's a difference between a period, a question mark, and an exclamation point, that lol is not an acceptable form of punctuation, or that "i agree with you lol" does not move a discussion along. At least they'll never question her, though, they don't have the vocabulary to do so, nor do they have the reading comprehension to tell that she's blowing smoke up their asses. Looks like Big Alice has finally found her tribe.
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WWJD? [July 28, 2006 @ 3:57pm]


Mel Gibson Arrested for DUI

If pain, as
Mel Gibson has said, is "the precursor to change," then the Oscar-winning star may be bound for a new direction.

Gibson, 50, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving at 2:36 a.m. Friday, according to the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

The actor-director was detained while driving along Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, said Steve Whitmore, a spokesman for the sheriff's department. Gibson was booked and later released from custody.

"Right now, it's an ongoing investigation," Whitmore told E! News.

Gibson's bail was set at $5,000, online records show.

This is at least the second DUI arrest for Gibson, though the first since he was widely reported to have begun attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in the early 1990s. The earlier DUI bust occurred in 1984 in Toronto, where Gibson was filming Mrs. Soffel with
Diane Keaton.

Twenty years ago, Gibson responded to his troubles by stepping back from his movie career.

"I wasn't channeling the energy properly," Gibson said in a 2004 CNN profile on the star. "It was too much in the race, and I didn't have enough petrol, but I was going for the finish line anyway."

When Gibson returned to Hollywood, his demons weren't far behind. By 1991, he told ABC News, he thought about jumping out a window.

"I just didn't want to go on," Gibson said.

His problems, Gibson explained, were "spiritual bankruptcy"--and addiction.

"I would get addicted to anything, anything at all," Gibson told ABC News. "Doesn't matter what it is--drugs, booze, anything. You name it--coffee, cigarettes, anything."

Gibson, who went on to win two
Oscars for Braveheart, talked up his low points while stumping for 2004's The Passion of the Christ, the gory account of Jesus' final hours. Gibson, who wrote and directed the self-financed epic, said he pursued the biblical tale after reconnecting with his religion and turning his life around.

Last appearing on the big screen in 2004's Paparazzi, the erstwhile Lethal Weapon is scheduled to unveil his latest film as a director, Apocalypto, in December.


He's such an insufferable, holier than thou asshole. Please let The Smoking Gun get his mugshot!
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